David's Surprise
by thegirlwhowaited82
Summary: There was a Prompt issues on Tumblr about David catching Captain Swan during an intimate moment. This is my take on that prompt. David over hears a conversation that turns out not to be what he thought, but when faced with the same situation later on he walks into something no father wants to see.


When Emma announced that she would be moving out of their loft and into the house that she had bought with her beloved pirate- David had mixed feelings. He knew they were True Love, she'd told him what had taken place on their quest to find the ambrosia. But he was still her father. And yes, she was a grown woman, and he already had a grandson, but he missed out on 28 years of her life thanks to Regina's curse. He'd enjoyed the time they'd spent as a family when she'd decided to stay with him and Mary Margaret and part of him wasn't ready to let go of his little girl.

But, he'd put those feelings aside, and tried to act supportive. So when Emma called to ask for help moving her stuff out of the loft, he didn't hesitate to load up the pick-up and drive it over to the blue, two story Victorian across town. She and Killian had been moving his things from Granny's and the Jolly Roger, so when David got to the house, he found the front door still open. He called out as he walked in, and not getting a response, set the box he'd carried in with him down on the kitchen table and went in search of his daughter and her pirate. While it was possible they had made another trip and forgotten the door, Emma's bug parked out front seemed to suggest otherwise.

As he continued to move through the house, he realized he heard voices coming from upstairs and he began to climb the steps up to see what was going on. As he approached one of the bedrooms, he could see the door was slightly open and the voices seemed to be coming from inside. He was about to push open the door the remainder of the way when what he heard made him freeze in his tracks.

"What would you say is an average length, Swan?" Killian asked, his voice sounding a bit restrained.

"How would I know?" Emma replied. "I don't spend all my time making comparisons, I have other things to worry about."

"Why don't we measure it?" Killian suggested, "Then we can be sure it fits nice and tight."

"I'm not worried about the size," Emma said with a sigh. "It just has to stay up. Why don't you let me hold it, and you can mark where it goes before we just start pounding away."

David's eyes widened. He wasn't sure what sort of conversation he'd just walked into, but he didn't like where this was going. He ought to leave because he was obviously intruding on something he shouldn't be, but at the same, he couldn't seem to bring himself to move. What if they heard him, and knew he'd be listening this whole time?

"Aye, love," Killian agreed, and there was a sound of a tape measure being pulled. "But if we measure if first, we can make sure we get it perfectly centered."

"Fine," Emma sighed, "we'll do it your way. But when we do it in the living room we're going to do it my way and just use magic."

Killian chuckled. "But darling, that's taking the easy way out and where would the fun be? Now, just hold it in place, right there."

David dared to peek through the crack in bedroom door. All he could see was Killian's back. He appeared to have removed his leather jacket, and Emma was standing in front of him. She bent or leaned forward to do something and Killian moved with her, causing Emma to let out a moan. Oh, god! He definitely didn't need to see this.

"Grandpa?" came a voice from beside him, causing David to jump. "What are you doing just standing in the hallway?"

"Uh," David stumbled, and flushed having been caught spying on his daughter by his grandson. "I...uh...I was bringing some of your mom's stuff from the loft and I came up here looking for her."

"Oh," he replied with a shrug. "Well, she and Killian are in my room working on some stuff." He moved to open the door but David stopped him.

"Um...yeah, I don't think it's a good idea to go in there," he said.

Henry raised a familiar looking eyebrow at him. "Why not?" He asked. "Is there a monster in there?"

A trouser monster that he was clearly going to have hack off with his sword. "No, I just think maybe-"

Just then the door opened and Emma stepped into the hallway. "Dad? Henry? What are you guys doing out here?"

"Grandpa seems to think something nefarious is going on in my room," Henry said pushing past his mother to move inside the bedroom.

Emma looked at David in confusion. "Why would there be something, 'nefarious' going on?" She asked. "And where did he learn that word?"

"Uh...well," David said, looking embarrassed. "I might have overheard you and Killian...uh…"

"Me and Killian, what?" Emma asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "We were just trying to hang Henry's new tv. What did you think you heard?"

David breathed an inward sigh of relief and felt rather guilty that he should have jumped to conclusions about what had been happening between his daughter and her pirate. "Well, let's just say I thought maybe you were...making tacos, in there."

"Oh my god, Dad!" Emma exclaimed. "We knew you were coming over. And, even if that's what we were doing, why would you just stand there and awkwardly listened?"

David blushed. "I was afraid you'd hear me!" He protested in his defense. "Look, I'm sorry okay. I won't make that mistake again."

"What mistake is that, mate?" Killian asked, having come to the door as well.

"Nothing," Emma replied, rolling her eyes. "Let's just get the rest of the stuff out of the bug and the pick up." She moved past David to head down the stairs.

Killian just looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Everything alright?" He asked.

"Yeah...just...I should know better than to listen at doors. Come on, there's some furniture I'll need help moving."

A week later, David arrived at the station late in the afternoon to take over sheriff duties from Emma. She had begged him for a night off so she and Killian could take advantage of the quiet that seemed to have settled over the town for the time being, and have a night to themselves. He couldn't say no, really. He could never deny his daughter anything and it had been a little crazy as of late and she deserved a night off with her pirate.

He was bit early, but was certain that Emma would be glad to be able to have the extra time with her True Love. When he got there and found the front door locked, however, he thought that a bit strange. Emma hadn't texted him about going out on a call, and both her bug and the sheriff's car were parked out front. But maybe she just hadn't had time to send him a message before she'd had to run off. It had happened before and, given the people that showed up in this town, sometimes you didn't have a second to think before having to act.

So he unlocked the door with his key and proceeded inside, assuming that if something were up he needed to take over she'd call or text him. So needless to say, he was a bit surprised when he heard voices coming from the front part of the station where the cells were. If Emma was here, she must have someone in the office with her, but then why have the door locked.

"Are you certain you can handle it, Captain?" He heard Emma ask. "Being in a position under a woman."

David heard a moan, which he could only assume came from Killian since Emma had called him Captain.

"Aye, love," he heard as a reply. Definitely Killian then. "But, perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it."

David rolled his eyes. Honestly, he didn't need to hear this, and especially not in the sheriff's station.

"Well, seeing as you're the one currently tied up, Captain," Emma replied, and was that a pur in her voice? "We'll see just how well you can handle it."

David couldn't believe he'd walked into this situation. Again. But, last time he'd jumped to conclusions about what had been going on between his daughter and the pirate, and listening in doorways had gotten him in trouble. So this time, he wasn't going to assume anything untoward was happening. So, rather than stand here he was going to find out what was going on, and then send them home for their date night.

He rounded the corner, acting as though he'd just come in, but what he saw made him freeze in his tracks as his brain attempted to process what his eyes were seeing. Not that he wanted to see it! He was going to need a memory charm to permanently erase the image of his daughter straddling her boyfriend's lap, her dress hiked up well above her thighs, and opened to her waist while said boyfriend had his hook resting on her bare thigh and appeared to have his hand cuffed to the desk chair.

"Emma Ruth Swan!" David shouted. "What, in the name of Asgard are you doing?"

The pair jumped apart as if they'd been hit with a bucket of ice water. He saw Emma give a flick of her hand as her magic undid the cuff around Killian's wrists, and they both quickly straightened their clothes.

"Dad, what the hell?" Emma shouted back, her face flushed with embarrassment and David didn't want to know what else. "You weren't supposed to be here for another half hour."

"I thought I would surprise you so you could have more time with Killian," David answered, and placed his hands on his hips giving her his best fatherly stare down. ""Little did I know the sheriff's station was being used as a bordello."

"Look, mate," Killian said, moving to stand beside Emma having apparently put himself back together, "it's partially my fault. I arrived to pick up Emma, and I may have...encouraged some misbehavior." He gave his hook a nonchalant wave. "But, as well you know, your daughter is immune to my charms and well…"

He grinned. The _pirate_ actually had the nerve to grin at him like this was no big deal. Like taking liberties with his daughter wasn't a crime that would have gotten him hanged in the Enchanted Forest. David crossed his arms over his chest and stared harder. No way was the pirate getting out of this one unscathed.

"She's my daughter," he said through gritted teeth. "And True Love or not, I can't believe you'd take advantage of her!"

"Whoa, mate!" Killian replied, holding hand and hook up in defense. "Emma's a grown woman, she can make her own decisions about what she does and with whom. Besides mate, the door was locked and you were early. Next time should we put a big sign over the door, or perhaps an article of clothing so you know not enter?"

"How about you just keep your hands off her, you-" David moved towards Killian. He was going to give the pirate a good throttling, but before he could reach Killian, Emma stepped in between reaching out her arms to hold them at length.

"Okay, this is ridiculous!" she exclaimed. "Emma is right here, and she's a part of this conversation."

David relaxed a little at her words, but he was still upset and he wasn't ready to back down fully. "Sorry, Emma," he answered, feeling only slightly ashamed for his outburst. "But, you deserve better than some...some...tryst," he winced, not really wanting the image of them entwined in his head again, "with a pirate in a sheriff's station. You're a Princess."

"And I'm telling you, Dave," Killian said with a smirk, "she started it. And who am I deny a damsel in need?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "You, stop provoking him," she scolded Killian and then turned to him. "And you need to chill out. I know you think I'm some innocent princess that needs protecting, but need I remind you that you have a grandson?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips in a rather familiar pose.

"I know, but-" David stammered. She was right, but she was also still his baby girl and he didn't want or need to think about her being intimate with a man.

"But nothing," she jumped in, cutting him off. "Need I remind you about making tacos?"

David turned beat red. He'd forgotten about that time that she and Henry had walked in on him and Snow. Granted, they hadn't been caught in the throws of passion, but if they'd come in a few minutes earlier… he sighed. She was right, he was over reacting, at least a little bit. "You're right, I'm sorry," he apologized. "Just, maybe you could not do it at sheriff's station?" He gestured toward the now empty chair with a look of disgusted. "Next time it might not be me that walks through that door."

Emma nodded. "We'll be more careful," she promised, and reached for Killian's hand. "Come on, sailor. We can finish this...conversation at home."

"Aye, love," Killian took her hand and walked with her towards the door, but before he did, he stopped and gave David a wink. "We'll _finish_ alright."

It took everything he had in him not to turn and throttle the pirate, regardless of his promise to Emma to try and let it go. He'd stabbed him once in alternate universe, maybe he ought to do it again.

Bloody pirate.


End file.
